This cuckolds’ guide is for men, women and couples.
Cuckolds is a complex fantasy with many aspects to consider.
Take your time, read everything and talk, establish limits and work together to make it a fabulous part of your sex life.
Ground Zero: a cuckold is born!
The most common scenario is the male in the relationship discovers he is excited by a fantasy that involves his partner and a third person. If the third person is male, then it is a cuckold fantasy.
- Strong – male tells partner about fantasy and together, they enjoy it as role play in the bedroom
- Insecure – male unsure of partner reaction harbours fantasy but does not tell partner
Strong
Role play in the bedroom is the best scenario. Scroll down for our guide to cuckold role play.
Insecure
Over time, the fantasy* becomes more deep-seated and it becomes harder and harder to approach his partner. This is a huge step for a cuckold, unsure of the reaction he will receive.
*The internet is full of cuckold information, experiences, stories and videos where he can enjoy his fantasy.
Stage #2: telling the wife
I strongly suggest telling your partner about your cuckold fantasies.
Warning: let me make this clear from an experienced, long-time cuckold in a happy cuckold marriage.. begin conversations, keeping the fantasy in the privacy of your bedroom as role-play. If you make it clear that it is a fantasy (and not real world) then they will accept your explanation as a fantasy.
The most common male fantasy: seeing two women together (not cuckolding). The second most common male fantasy is cuckolding where the third partner is male. The cuckold may want the third male (bull) to be dominant, have a bigger penis, be of colour (black). He may want to watch, be submissive, clean the wife after sex (creampie) and many other cuckold tendencies.
Have you talked to her?
For years, I hid my fetish as a naughty dark secret. I thought my partner would hate my fantasy. Before the internet, I read Penthouse stories. Then along came the internet.. I discovered this amazing world full of cuckold information, images and videos. I didn’t need to tell my partner, I was a happy cuckold.
Over 80% of (male) cuckolds have not told their partner because of embarrassment, shame, fear or believing she would not be interested. The cuckold fantasizes, watches cuckold porn, reads cuckold stories and trawls the internet, feeding his cuckold desires. In most cases, never intends to tell his partner.
What many cuckolds fail to realise is many women acknowledge cuckolds are a common male fetish, and understandable. Many women would happily role-play the cuckold fantasy during sex, if it contributes to a better sex life. The majority of women prefer it to remain a fantasy, kept in the privacy of the home.
There are also women who have fantasized about men outside their marriage but are too afraid of the husband’s reaction. Catch 22!
There is only one way to find out.. talk!
Dear wife letter
Go here to see a letter that can be printed and handed to your partner. It is a tried and tested introduction to the fantasy.
A Cuckold Journey
The best approach for any cuckold is taking it slow and in stages:
- Fantasy – watch, read and learn
- Tell the wife – watch, read and learn together
- Roleplay – discover the fantasy together
- Real world (by consent)
Getting Started
Like all sexual fantasies involving couples, cuckolding is easier said than done.
The best way of starting the cuckold journey is talking about it in the privacy of home, and then when the couple are on the same page, take it into the bedroom and incorporate into sex.
During talks, cuckolds often learn things about their wives and their likes/dislikes that they never considered. Admitting to one fantasy will often open windows to other fantasies.
Cuckold Talk
Bedroom talk (role play) is commitment-free, no consequence sex involving a third party, yes another man.
During role play, both man and woman describe how they see cuckold sex from their perspective. From who the bull is, to meeting (date), to foreplay (wife/bull), cuckold involvement (if any – watching, listening, wanking) to sex between the wife and bull. It may include post sex.. cuddling, kissing, round 2, cleaning (wife by cuckold) and sex with the cuckold. Most cuckolds in the early fantasy stages do not consider the desires and fantasies of his wife. It comes as a shock to discover she is much more into it than he thought.
It’s important that both male and female are 100% honest and describe what turns them on and their expectations.
Cuckold Roleplay
Scroll down for stories and articles that include roleplay to get ideas.
Let the cuckold begin the roleplay, describing how he imagines his cuckolding as this will encourage her.
It can begin with a date night (wife going on a date with her bull), going to a restaurant or bar. This way she can get to know him and build the excitement.
She will want to take a bath and get ready to meet him for the first time. She will want to dress for him, wearing lingerie and do her hair. The cuckold will want to watch her get dressed and talk about her evening and her expectations. Talking is the best way of discovery.
If the cuckold wants to be part of the sex, then she should bring the bull home. If not, she can txt the progress during the evening. Imagine her sending hubby a naughty pic? This is exhilarating for the cuck.
In all scenarios, avoid involving people you know where emotional feelings can get involved. Avoid friends and family.
The Talk: Fantasy to Real World
OK, so you are thinking about taking the next step, from fantasy to reality.
Sit down with a drink and discuss the considerations (below) and agree on every single one. I cannot emphasize enough.. once it is started, breaking any rules is a game changer. If he or she engages in something that was agreed would not happen, then the relationship immediately changes.
Also agree on..
- Safe word – if something goes wrong and if said – everyone (husband/wife/bull) stops – make sure the bull knows too
- Stop – agree what will happen if you stop (talk, leave, bull leaves room etc)
Cuckold Considerations
Every cuckold is different, this cannot be stressed enough. Every wife is different, and so they have to meet in the middle.
- Anal (includes oral and sex)
- Cage (cuckold wears a cock cage)
- Condom (affects other considerations)
- Creampie – semen (cuckold cleans wife after sex)
- Cuckold + Bull (sucking cock, anal)
- D/S (dom/sub play)
- Humiliation (his cock is bigger than yours, name calling)
- Kissing*
- Oral (wife sucks bulls cock)
- Public (wife+bull allowed)
- Restraints (if any)
- Rimming (anal licking)
- Safety (medical and precautions)
- Snowball (wife kisses cuckold with cum in her mouth)
- Swallow (wife swallows cum)
- Verbal (things cuckold likes to hear)
- Voyuer (cuckold watches) – same room/video, position (chair, bed, floor)
- Wanking (cuckold masturbates while watching)
Fantasy versus Reality
It’s one thing to talk about a fantasy and roleplay but a massive step to take a cuckold fantasy to real life.
Men fantasize about their wives having sex with other men, or role play her fucking someone but have you considered how you will feel if you saw her, lost in the passion of the moment doing things she’s never done with you? Kissing is an obvious one given its most personal. Sucking cock, swallowing his cum, what if she turned him round and tongued his ass? Or let him fuck her in the ass? She may be doing it for your benefit, humiliating you but to see her doing those things can be a life game-changer.
It’s this kind of thing that needs to be role-played and discussed so that if you ever do go real life, then everyone knows the boundaries.
* This may surprise some but a good example to discuss. One reader explained hubby allowed everything (including anal) but not her kissing the bull (it was too personal).
Or is it hotter when you simply keep it in your bedroom, watch porn, etc.?
Power dynamics
Many cuckolds enjoy the submissive aspect of cuckolding. They want to engage in power dynamics that involve serving their partner and helping them find and/or please the “alpha” partner (the bull). They may even enjoy the humiliation that comes from feeling like another person can please their partner better than they can, and they’ll want their partner to play up this idea with dirty talk or reporting back the sexual acts that took place.
In some extreme BDSM cuckold porn, you can see the cuckold locked in a box while a woman and the bull engage in intercourse on top of the box. You can also find videos of the cuck cleaning up after the sexual acts or other degrading acts involved in helping the bull and the female partner enjoy themselves.
Candaulism
The Candaulism fetish is where the husband gets a thrill and pride from having a wife that other men want and from showing her off/sharing her [with] those men. If a man enjoys cuckolding for this reason primarily, there’s a good chance he’s more into hotwifing than cuckolding
If at the end of the role play, it has brought you closer together with hot sex talking about her with another man, then you’re on the right path.
If you find you’re both on the same page and excited by cuckold role play, then (and only then) can you consider going real world.
How to find a third party
This is the hardest part.. finding that special third wheel, someone you both like.
It is best if the person is “unknown”. Hooking up with friends, work colleagues, or club associations has all kinds of issues down the track. Even when the bedroom talk was about someone you both know, beside complications then there is always the emotional connection – at the end of the day this is “sex play” and should not have any emotional involvement.
There are many apps available for couples to find friends like Tinder, and simply explain in your profile exactly what you’re looking for. We recommend this approach as the couple have time to learn about the third person, see pictures, size, sexual history, medical and get an understanding of him.
You could try meeting a man in a bar as a couple or.. she sits by herself and the cuckold watches from a distance. Don’t be surprised if bars in your area have singles/couples nights for this kind of hookup. We don’t recommend this approach, there are too many unknowns.
Cuckolding do’s and don’ts
1. Do take it slow
Unfortunately, many people idealize their fantasy so much, they are surprised to have strong, unexpected reactions when they try to make a fantasy into reality. Couples should dip their toe into the water and find gentle, slow ways to ease into exploring these fantasies, with lots of room for check-ins and communication about feelings, reactions, and fears.
Some ways to try dipping your toes into the water could be watching your partner flirt with a stranger at a bar, watching porn together, having your partner webcam or have FaceTime sex with someone else while you watch, or even something as simple as talking to your partner about who they find attractive.
2. Don’t try to convince your partner to do something they’re not into
You’ll find self-proclaimed “experts” on the internet trying to teach you how to “trick” your wife into cuckolding you. Don’t! Consent is an absolute must. If your partner is not into your sexual fantasy, respect it.
3. Do discuss what you’re both comfortable with beforehand
As with any fantasy, it’s important to think things through carefully before acting. Does the cuck want to watch? Do they want you to tell them every little detail after? Do you both want to select the third partner together? Do you want to set limits as to what kind of people you want to involve in your cuckolding? Do you want your partner to humiliate you? There are a ton of questions to answer together even after you’re both turned on by the same general fantasy. Make sure you’re both on the same page beforehand so nobody’s feelings are hurt later.
The bottom line is communication with all parties involved to make sure everyone is fully aware of needs and boundaries. It’s always OK to take a break or change your mind at any time.
4. Don’t completely objectify the third party (unless they’re into that)
Sometimes, the third partner that’s invited to play with a couple ends up getting treated like a sex toy. With cuckolding, in particular, there are racial dynamics (and outright racism) at play that are worth being well-informed about to make sure the way you go about exploring your fantasies doesn’t do any harm.
With certain kinky exceptions, most humans would like to be treated as humans—not like an accessory to your and your partner’s sex lives. Make sure to extend the same communication and respect to your new third partner that you do to your primary partner.
5. Do take safety precautions
As always, make sure you both get tested and use protection before partaking in any sex with a new partner – even if you’ve both been monogamous for a significant amount of time. And of course, ensure that your new partner gets tested beforehand as well. This is critical if the couple are into cum games such as creampies, cleaning, breeding, snowballs and swallowing.
The bottom line
At the end of the day, cuckolding can be a fun way to spice up your sex life. However, if either you and your partner decide that cuckolding is too intense or risky for a real-life scenario then keep it fun within the bedroom as a fantasy.
Opinion: keep the fantasy at home!
As an experienced, happily married cuckold with a wife that has a boyfriend, I believe the cuckold fantasy is best kept in the bedroom at home.
I understand it’s not what many cuckolds wants to hear but.. if the cuckold’s fantasy includes the possibility of losing his wife or discovering things about his wife that he may regret learning then that’s the chance he must consider making.
Once the fantasy leaves the home (real world third partner) it has many ramifications. A third partner involves human emotions that no-one can predict and for this reason, I believe is best kept as a fantasy between the husband and wife (at home).
Any kind of relationship involving a third partner is risky at best, regardless of how strong the relationship is.
Still not sure?
Male or female – my wife and I are here to help. We are experienced and happy to talk.
